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Secrets of Success – Dr. Marko Saravanja


I recently read an excerpt from this book on Dr. Pat Utomi’s Facebook wall, and I just could not get enough. I found it to be full of profound truths and really practical lessons. I have placed an order for one copy. Until I read and digest all the 52 secrets in this book I cannot actually do a “book review”. So I’ll leave you with a summary from the author himself, lifted off the page of Regenesys Business School where he is the chairman. 
Enjoy these 5 secrets!
SAN

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Delayed gratification
Delayed gratification is the act of postponing a reward or satisfaction. Research has shown that successful people have the ability to delay short-term reward for long-term gain. Professor Walter Mischel from Columbia University conducted experiments to assess the ability of four-year-old children to delay gratification. Children were given one marshmallow and told that they would get an additional one if they did not eat it within 15 minutes. Tracer studies, conducted later on, showed that those children who were able to delay gratification were more successful in school, business and life.
Indeed, self-discipline and an ability to wait are vitally important qualities that determine long-term success in both our business and personal lives. Saving money, university studies, sacrifices at work and in the family – these are all examples of delayed gratification. The greatest leaders, strategists and businessmen had this quality – they have all been able to sacrifice short-term pleasures for long-term goals. Nelson Mandela, Warren Buffet and Mahatma Gandhi are some great examples from recent times. Let your greatest gratification be delayed gratification. Awaken your potential knowing that the power of delayed gratification is within you.
Sacrifice
Success in life comes through sacrifices – not merely one or two, but many. Sacrifice is the ability to give up a personal need for a more important organisational priority or a greater societal cause. Every time we make a sacrifice, we earn credits that accumulate and repay our investment multiple times in the future. The evidence can be seen in the lives of Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Mandela and every other truly great leader. Unsuccessful people are not capable of making sacrifices. They are self-centred – driven by fear and greed. They have a mentality of poverty and entitlement – they think that their organisations always owe them something. As employees, they are cynical, always complaining, assigning blame, and poisoning others.
Sacrifice requires the courage to give up short-term pleasure for long-term success – and to be different from the majority. Sacrifice requires compassion, a proactive attitude, and a spiritual wisdom that recognises the transitory nature of worldly pleasures. Look at great business leaders: how many lonely extra miles did they run? How many sleepless nights, late hours and working weekends did they endure? How many family sacrifices did they make and how many other sacrifices did they make which no one ever noticed? In life, in order to go up you have to give up. If you are rich, give your wealth and if you are poor give your heart. Awaken your potential, knowing that the power of sacrifice is within you.
Altruism
Altruistic actions lead to success. All great leaders were altruists – they worked genuinely for the well-being of others. And they became great because of others. Altruism is about selfless behaviour, benevolence, generosity and compassion in action. True altruism is when the motivation for helping others comes out of one’s own heart – and not because of an expectation that a favour will be returned. True altruism is anonymous. Selfish behaviour is driven by negative energy and leads to contraction, narrow-mindedness and misery.
Altruistic behaviour generates positive energy and leads to freedom, expansion and happiness. Good actions create good reactions and bad actions create bad reactions – this is a law of the Universe. According to Steven Covey, our life progresses from dependence to independence and finally to interdependence. As we mature, we realise that everything in this Universe is interdependent.
We realise that our happiness depends on the people around us and we exist because of others – we realise the great wisdom of Ubuntu. When we are gone, we will not be remembered by what we had but by what we gave and how many human lives we touched. The divide between the rich and poor is greater than ever before. Therefore, as individuals, business and government, we must do much more for the poor and vulnerable. Choose a person, project or community you want to help and serve them selflessly. Only through action can we create long-term collective prosperity and peace.
Choose to live in the light of altruism instead of the darkness of selfishness. Awaken your potential knowing that altruism is within you.
Struggle
There is no great person on this earth who achieved greatness without struggle. Sir Richard Branson, Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey and all the world’s great CEOs, warriors, scientists and politicians had to struggle to achieve their success in life. Each had to withstand suffering, risk and pain. Success in life has to be earned and deserved. It has to be won in life’s daily battlefields by conquering fear, uncertainty and temptation; by remaining true to one’s mission and by staying on the road less travelled; by sacrificing short-term pleasures for long-term goals; by persevering and enduring hardship; and by inspiring others and enduring hardship; and by inspiring others along the way.
Struggle is the essence of life, so do not try to escape it. Welcome struggle as an opportunity to develop, and your challenges will cease to be hardships. Only through constant struggle can we continually learn, change and develop. Only through struggle can we conquer our fears, achieve freedom and extend our boundaries of possibility. Let struggle be your way of life. Fight bravely. Love fiercely. And history will remember your legacy.
Proactiveness
Proactiveness breeds success. Proactive people get up, act and solve problems while reactive people do nothing but complain, whine and moan. Proactive people are solution focused while reactive people are problem focused. Proactive people see opportunities while reactive people see difficulties. Proactive people create while reactive people destroy. Proactive people are special human beings – they talk little and do a lot, they are driven by a higher cause and not by ego, power and money. They lead by example, they walk the talk and they are true role models – quietly admired by their followers. Proactive people thrive on a positive energy generates more positive energy. One rotten potato spoils the whole bag. Where reactive people poison their colleagues with negativity, proactive people inspire, enthuse and excite the people around them.
Smell the roses and appreciate their beauty instead of focusing on the thorns. See the half-glass of water as half-full instead of half-empty. Take control of your future – do not give your power away. Stop complaining and blaming others, take responsibility, get up and act. Change your life and you will change the world around you. If we all do it, our world will be a better place in which to live. Be proactive, progressive and professional. Be productive, prompt and proper. Be profound, prosperous and prominent. Awaken your potential by choosing to be proactive.
It inspires me to think that you may embark on a journey of self-actualisation. Even more inspiring is the thought that, once you achieve success, you may choose the path of serving humanity. May you awaken your potential, knowing that everything you need to succeed is within you.

Dr Marko Saravanja

Smacking your kids?

A friend of mine posted the inspiration for this topic on Facebook and it just cracked me up. It also reminded me of the several cases of lynching I got from my mom while growing up. I can never forget once when I was so heady over an issue and a simple instruction would not do. After the usual slaps, as demonstrated by Bolaji’s mom in the post below, my mom then proceeded to beat me with the stem of a bunch of plantains! lol. That kinda straightened me out for a couple of weeks. 
So do you hit your kids now and then? I have just one child. A 3 year old boy. He is so independent and stubborn that you sometimes want to lock him up in the garage and go to sleep! I remember once I smacked him so hard that even I cried afterwards. My wife has still not forgiven me. Don’t get me wrong, I rarely ever hit my son, but he got me to my wits end on that particular episode.
Do you smack your kids? Or would you rather spare the rod? What works for you? So, what is the worst thing that frustration from your children’s misbehavior has made you do? 


Enjoy Bolaji’s post below.

Status Update
By Mobolaji Idowu
In continuation of my analysis on Yoruba moms and their various child Rebooting methods this is a contribution from my childhood friend Olumide Iluyomade(this guy dey write i beg ) :

This reminds me, ….there is a particular move that is reserved for Moms and Nigerian women trained in the ‘Shaolin style’ of Ondo town. It is a 6 combination move which is only applied in the most extreme situations – it is a lethal combination of slaps which include Ifoti, Igbati, Igbarun, Ifakun, Abara and Igbaju oloyi. It must be carried out in this order with vicious, swift and deadly accuracy!

The first 3 slaps – Ifoti, Igbati and Igbarun which occur in quick succession, are designed to immediately immobilize victims and freeze any thoughts of escape. Then with quick follow-up, the Ifakun will cause you to crouch forward in agony, as if in preparation for the next volley (like a crouching tiger). Subsequently, she delivers breath-taking Abara to the backside (which will cause victim to straighten-up from the crouching position and spin round!). In finality, she will finish you off with a blinding and stupefying ‘Igbaju oloyi’ – causing a temporal loss of balance, vision, memory and appetite!!

The 6-combination ‘Shaolin style’ slaps has been known to cause extreme reactions! It is credited for many of the unexplained ‘A’ grades in school but sadly, it is also responsible for a fair number of run-away incidences! Many Nigerian house maids have been known to renounce and denounce witchcraft and return to the village on the merit of this combination of slaps! Playing football or soccer inside the house and breaking a fair number of Mom’s expensive chinaware is very ill-advised, especially when your Mom is schooled in the art of ‘Shaolin style’ combination slaps!



2014 Range Rover Sport – Empty Quarter Desert Challenge

Its no secret, to those who know me, how much I love Range Rovers. While my favourite RR happens to be the HSE/Full Sized or Vogue as they call it in the UK, I could not help but fall totally for the new RR Sport after watching this video. The performance and agility is just  mind-blowing! Do you like “grunty”? Wear your headphones and take a listen to the bestial sound of 510 wild Yukons getting mad at the Saudi desert.

"State of Osun" – Innovation in government appointments?

Otunba Titilayo Laoye- Tomori

Osun State has her commissioner of education also double as deputy governor. What’s your take on this? Yay or Nay? Why? Let’s discuss.

Ministry of Education, Science and Technology – State of Osun

Festus Iyayi – Whodunit…ASUU or Wada?

Prof. Festus Iyayi (1947 – Nov 12, 2013)

Prof. Festus Iyayi, born 66 years ago in Ugbegun, Edo state, died from wounds sustained after a vehicle accident involving a bus he was traveling in and the convoy of Governor Idris Wada of Kogi state on November 12, 2013. Recall that Governor Wada was involved in a similar fatal accident last December, which claimed the life of his ADC. While several fatalities happen everyday on Nigerian roads, the Nigerian literary, intellectual and social justice community will forever mourn Prof. Iyayi. For those who don’t know the late Prof. and what he stood and will be remembered for, lets hear Femi Falana (SAN) say a few words on this and the continuing implication for the state of road traffic law enforcement in Nigeria amongst other related issues.  
May his soul rest in peace.
SAN 

Cry for Nigeria, Not For Festus! – FEMI FALANA SAN
From reports, which have been confirmed, Prof Festus Iyayi was killed by Gov Wada’s convoy around Lokoja yesterday. He was travelling to Kano from Benin for the NEC meeting of ASUU to review the varsity strike in view of the offer belatedly made by President Goodluck Jonathan last week. The ASUU welfare officer who was in the same car with Comrade Iyayi was seriously injured and is said be on danger list at the Federal medical centre, Lokoja. I cry for Nigeria, but certainly not for Festus who would have wanted us to mobilize instead of mourning him.

Like all progressive lecturers Festus believed in the total liberation of the people. He dedicated his entire life to the struggle for an egalitarian society. His award winning novels like VIOLENCE and HEROES confirmed his unalloyed commitment to the reconstruction of Nigeria on the platform of justice and fair play. Festus was the ASUU national president when he was illegally sacked the university of Benin in 1987. As the removal could not be justified in law the discredited dictator, General Ibrahim Babangida claimed that he had sacked Festus and other radical lecturers including Professor Itsejuwa Sagay “in the public interest” under the obnoxious Decree No 17 of 1984.

Festus and his colleagues rejected the pressures mounted on them to abandon the struggle. Instead of compromise they demanded for justice. The Late Alao Aka-Bashorun and I were instructed to challenge their illegal removal in court. We did and won from the High Court to the Supreme Court. It was on the basis of such legal victory that they were reinstated in 1993. Under his Presidency of the Committee for the Defense of Human Rights (CDHR) from 1994-1995 the human rights body was in the forefront of the struggle against military dictatorship in Nigeria. Festus has consistently fought on the side of the marginalized masses. His death is a painful loss for his family and all our comrades.

However, we must quickly recover from our shock and stop our lamentation by addressing relevant questions to save the lives of other road users including ourselves. Governor Wada was involved in a similar ghastly accident last year. His ADC was killed while the governor was seriously injured. Why has the FRSC exempted governors from the speed limit of 100 kilometres per hour? Why are official drivers allowed by law enforcement agencies to engage in reckless driving in defiance of traffic laws? Up to the early 1980s we used to travel to from the south to the north and vice versa for meetings by train. If the train service had not collapsed Festus would have travelled to Kano by train and not by road. If the FG had honored the 2009 FG/ASUU agreement ASUU would not have embarked on the ongoing industrial action. If the FG had made concrete offer to ASUU before now the strike would not have lasted 5 months.

Gov Wada should bear responsibility for the tragic road accident that claimed the precious life of Professor Iyayi. The FRSC should henceforth monitor Gov Wada’s movements to prevent him from killing more people on our bad roads. The speed limit imposed on all drivers should apply to all citizens alike. In particular drivers of governors who commit traffic offences must be brought to book. In this case, Gov Wada is vicariously liable for the criminal negligence of his driver who killed Festus and wounded the ASUU welfare officer who is now on danger list in the hospital. The Kogi state government should be made to pay huge compensation to the injured welfare officer of ASUU and the family of Professor Iyayi. Gov Wada’s drivers who killed his ADC last year and Professor Iyayi yesterday should be arrested and prosecuted for manslaughter. Unlike their boss they are not immune from prosecution for criminal offences!

Get Hitched or Die Trying



Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce Fuvwe Ziregbe, our guest writer. She is out guns blazing and taking no prisoners on the very endemic “marriage-or-nothing” syndrome that a lot of women suffer from. This whole mindset that you are nobody till somebody hooks you has got her riled up…and justifiably too. I have often wondered why many young ladies behave like they’re waiting for a man to “ask” before they can begin to live their lives.  Also, those that got it made early behave like they’re special and the ones still “searching” must have something wrong with their DNA or something.  They quickly forget the past and lord their new found Oga-Madam status over their single friends.
I’ll stop here. Let’s hear it from Fuvwe. I’m with her 100% on this one.
SAN
****************************************************************************************************
I have decided to re-caption my topic “Insecurities of married women” and post “Petty things young married women do”, however this is not unrelated. First of all, I personally think marriage is a beautiful thing that every woman should experience but these days ladies go into marriage for the wrong reasons. I believe every single lady should know herself worth before going into marriage. Some go in due to societal pressures. They have bought the idea that marriage is the ultimate goal women can achieve, which I believe is sexist because men do not come under such pressures. 
As a result many single ladies have been forced into spending their creative energies on that alone at the expense of developing themselves, at the end of the day they get in and find out it’s not utopia. This new army of newly married women (doesn’t apply to all) are beginning to get disillusioned because they feel trapped and short changed which leads to bottled frustration, progressive feeling of loss & insecurity and it manifests in a lot of ways- 
*Showboating- It is a good thing to show off the dividends of marriage but when you see a lady going to great extents to display “STUFFS” that should be private ,it just might be ‘her’ trying to give herself reasons why she is still hooked.
*Pushing the marriage button at every opportunity- Making it a point of duty to constantly pester their unmarried friends with marriage matters. Subconsciously and indirectly, what they mean is: “I ‘m better than you because I am married and you are not, so all your fine achievements don’t count for much since you are unmarried…I still have the edge”. Psychology tells us that superiority complex is an affected form of inferiority complex. Single ladies do not be fazed by such antics. A woman with self earned achievement under her belt will not do such.
*Less attractiveness- A lot of women are scared their husband do not find them attractive anymore. Truth is, if you took out time to find the best match for you, that should not be much of a problem. Note: a man who loves you for your looks would always go with your looks. Security and self worth should come from within you.
*Social media suicide- Lastly, there is this strange condition of social media suicide as well as unannounced “un-friending” amongst some…an attempt to pass home the point that levels have changed perhaps. Given, some social adjustment is justifiable but these radical methods leaves our eyebrows raised. What was it about your single hood you would not want your man to know now?
Sincere advice; be yourself, don’t change yourself, there is a reason he picked you out of the crowd.-
Fuvwe Ziregbe

Meeting Celebs – Naija Style!

Recently I saw an episode of AY’s Crib, and could not help laughing at the drama that ensued when AY’s girlfriend was going all gaga from meeting Desmond Elliott at a shopping mall. She actually got her fuming boyfriend to take shots of her and Desmond with her phone. It was an ordeal for the poor man’s ego.
Generally we the “normal” Nigerians are kind of arrogant around our showbiz personalities. We give them that “Eh ehn?” “And so?” “Who e be sef?” attitude, rather than fuss over them in an overly affectionate manner like they do in other climes. Once I was at a party in Lagos and there was a Nollywood dude who I knew from shopping at his fashion store. In fact I was there just a few days earlier and we had quite the banter. You know how it is – shop owner trying to tell you the latest trend and you’re having none of it. Subtle stubbornness and all. He tried to sell me a long sleeved Chairman Mao jacket! My wife would have shot me for wearing that stuff.
Anyway, back to the story. We meet again at a social event. Here he comes looking sharp and being ushered into a baby dedication luncheon, where I was also a guest. As usual, the groupies were beside themselves trying to go pay respect, pump fists, hug and take social media bound selfies, etc. As a sharp Naija man, I just “boned” in my corner watching. At some point he decides to play the bigger man and walk over to say whatsup. He ended up making me regret my unnecessary display of immaturity or insecurity? Sigh.
I once heard Ramsey Noah went visiting an old friend in Warri and ended up only leaving the house in the dead of the night, with police escort too. Apparently, star gazing fans had milled around the house in throngs waiting to mob their favourite Nollywood hunk. Not funny.
A nephew, who by the way is an aspiring musician, sat next to Common on a flight from Calgary to Los Angeles. Yes, in coach! He told us of how warm and friendly Common was. They had a good chat, with him getting tips on kick starting his musical career and all. Fancy if that had been him and Naeto C on a Lagos-Abuja flight. Maximum boning plus noise cancelling headphones and dark glasses would kill any thoughts of socializing.
One time my wife and I were travelling through an airport and Tuface gets ushered into the VIP section. As usual you straighten your gaze and pretend to read the paper, oblivious to the attention he is getting from airport staff that had shunted you since you got there.
And then my wife says the unthinkable: “Look, there’s Tuface. I think I should go over and say Hi”.
Can you believe that! If she was deluded enough not to get the message from my sharp scowl, I replied for good measure: “if you get up from that seat, just don’t come back!”
Wifey: Go away, you’re boring joor. Can’t you take a simple joke?
Me: You for try am.
So what has been your experience with meeting celebrities?  Have you had any star gazing situation that went well? How about one that resulted in some mild drama? Please kindly share with us by posting a comment.

 

SAN
PS

(No spouse was harassed in making this movie.)

June 12

It’s been 20 years now since the freest and fairest election in Nigeria was truncated by the evil genius, General IBB. We were on the path to great things in this country. Majority of Nigerians along ethnic, geographical and religious lines had lined up behind the figure of Chief MKO Abiola and decided he was the one to set us on the path to greatness after 10 years of military misrule under IBB and his co-travelers in jackboots. How could one forget June 12? I remember queuing at a voting booth at the Ojabugbe-Eyesan intersection in Warri. We had no mobile phones in those days. I cast my vote with an eerie feeling of being part of something important and delicate at the same time. I felt I was about to change our world with my one vote.
While standing in queue my mind kept going back to MKO’s debate with Tofa. It was an amazing performance. Till date, no one has shown a greater desire to work for Nigeria or articulated such a simple and clear path forward to solving our problems like MKO did that night. He knew little things like the cost of petrol…this for a multi-millionaire who probably had not bought fuel by himself in ages. By the way, back then most Nigerians did not know the pump price of petrol like we do nowadays, because it was not such an issue.
See Links to the debate in the appendix.
There was no quick way of knowing what was happening in other states or towns, since communication was slow in those days. But we knew there was an air of calmness and oneness of purpose that day in Warri. There were no stories of ballot boxes being stolen. The TV and radio stations had reports of peaceful voting across the country. Prof. Humphrey Nwosu’s option A4 ensured there was transparency even at the polling stations. The votes were counted in front of everyone at our ward’s polling booth and MKO got over 98% of the votes there.
 

MKO’s Election campaign poster
The reason why this was a watershed period in our lives was because we did not even care that the SDP ticket was a Moslem/Moslem one with MKO and Babagana Kingibe. From the election results released, they had won a landslide in almost every state announced, polling a total of 8.4 million votes. Alas, the INEC chairman was abruptly prevented from announcing the complete results and the rest is history.
Candidate
Party
Votes
%
8,357,246
58.71
5,878,685
41.29
Total
14,235,931
100
                                                          June 12 results
MKO was hounded into exile, he returned and declared himself president, he was arrested and thrown in jail, and his wife was assassinated by the Abacha killer squad, drank tea with Susan Rice and William Pickering… and met his untimely death.
From the period of the June 12 election annulment till the death of MKO, some Nigerians under different coalition umbrellas fought the government of IBB from home and overseas using international relations and civil disturbance to try to force IBB’s arm into recognizing the election outcome without success. Instead he handed over to Abacha, who proceeded to take Nigeria on his own journey of terror until he succumbed to an Indian apple.
Since then, we have had 3 PDP presidents, including Obasanjo, who was uncharitable enough to declare that Abiola was not the Messiah Nigerians had been waiting for, became a beneficiary of a misplaced move by the Oligarch using their new vehicle, the PDP, to appease the South West. Who told them that June 12 was about the Yorubas? I’d better stop here.
The intent of this is not an attempt to recant common history, but to honor MKO Abiola and the others who died or risked life, limb and livelihood in trying to restore our mandate.
May their souls rest in peace and may the families they left behind gain favor anywhere they go. Amen.

So how was your June 12, 1993? For me it remains one of the best days of my Nigerian existence. A bittersweet memory. Nigeria worked on that day. But…alas!
Appendix
Links to Abiola vs Tofa debate

Kidnappings in Lagos – Avoiding Being a Victim

(Image courtesy of Vanguard Newspapers)
Before now, we have come to associate kidnappings with the oil producing areas of the country, the south east, and not too long ago, the Northern parts of the country through Boko Haram. These kidnappings have been driven mostly by political leverage and financial gains.  Folks living in Lagos have mostly felt a sense of immunity to this malaise until recently. There has been a spate of kidnappings in the Ikeja, VI and Lekki areas. Victims have been Nigerians and expatriates alike. In the past week there have been reports of four Lebanese and a Briton kidnapped and freed after ransom negotiations. A common modus operandi for kidnapping locals is to block them off in traffic or at the entry gates to their homes, after which they are taken to ATMs and their accounts drained. There have also been stories of situations where, upon discovering a healthy balance in the victim’s account, they are kept for a longer period and their family is contacted to empty same accounts with signed cheques, etc.
Someone told a story of how he was taken one early morning on the Lekki – Epe expressway by VGC roundabout. His jeep was suddenly hit from behind by another vehicle. As expected, both drivers pulled over a short distance away to sort out the issue and the two guys who alighted from the car that hit him suddenly brought out guns and whisked him away after combing his car for his briefcase, phones, etc. Blindfolded, he was taken to a flat somewhere in a compound with other occupants. Because it was very early in the day, it was easy for them to bring him in unnoticed. All day they would play gospel music and greet their neigbours with phrases like “we bless God”, “Calvary greetings to you Ma”, etc. So they put up the face of good Christian businessmen sharing a flat, whilst unbeknownst to their neigbours, they used the place as a holding pen for their victims. Luckily, he was released unscathed after two days of negotiations and payment.
Release of kidnap victims may sometimes be complicated leading to injuries and loss of lives. 

Here are some prevention tips:
·   Outings in the late hours and very early hours of the day should be curtailed, if possible, completely avoided.
·     Maintain a low profile; do not display large sums of money, jewelry or other apparent evidence of affluence. Be discreet.
·      When out on the road, be alert and take note of unusual happenings like vehicles trailing you, if you have any reason to suspect foul play drive to a safe haven like a police station rather than drive home; if you observe a strange vehicle or persons around your home, discreetly call law enforcement agents for help.
·        As much as possible, avoid lonely routes so you do not become an easy target.
·   Ensure you carry out background check on drivers, house helps, home lesson teachers and other non family members that are likely to have access to your home.
·        In case of an armed attack, remain calm and observe the following precautions;
o   Respond to the assailants’ instructions calmly and promptly, without questions
o   Do not resist, stay calm and avoid direct eye contact with assailant
o   Avoid sudden physical movements, make your hands visible – do not undo seatbelt without permission
o   Do not get caught in the cross fire with police response teams, take reasonable precautionary steps like lying flat on the ground or raising up your hands above your head.
·    Ensure you have your local Nigeria Police emergency numbers saved on your cell phone

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