A friend of mine posted the inspiration for this topic on Facebook and it just cracked me up. It also reminded me of the several cases of lynching I got from my mom while growing up. I can never forget once when I was so heady over an issue and a simple instruction would not do. After the usual slaps, as demonstrated by Bolaji’s mom in the post below, my mom then proceeded to beat me with the stem of a bunch of plantains! lol. That kinda straightened me out for a couple of weeks.
So do you hit your kids now and then? I have just one child. A 3 year old boy. He is so independent and stubborn that you sometimes want to lock him up in the garage and go to sleep! I remember once I smacked him so hard that even I cried afterwards. My wife has still not forgiven me. Don’t get me wrong, I rarely ever hit my son, but he got me to my wits end on that particular episode.
Do you smack your kids? Or would you rather spare the rod? What works for you? So, what is the worst thing that frustration from your children’s misbehavior has made you do?
Enjoy Bolaji’s post below.
This reminds me, ….there is a particular move that is reserved for Moms and Nigerian women trained in the ‘Shaolin style’ of Ondo town. It is a 6 combination move which is only applied in the most extreme situations – it is a lethal combination of slaps which include Ifoti, Igbati, Igbarun, Ifakun, Abara and Igbaju oloyi. It must be carried out in this order with vicious, swift and deadly accuracy!
The first 3 slaps – Ifoti, Igbati and Igbarun which occur in quick succession, are designed to immediately immobilize victims and freeze any thoughts of escape. Then with quick follow-up, the Ifakun will cause you to crouch forward in agony, as if in preparation for the next volley (like a crouching tiger). Subsequently, she delivers breath-taking Abara to the backside (which will cause victim to straighten-up from the crouching position and spin round!). In finality, she will finish you off with a blinding and stupefying ‘Igbaju oloyi’ – causing a temporal loss of balance, vision, memory and appetite!!
The 6-combination ‘Shaolin style’ slaps has been known to cause extreme reactions! It is credited for many of the unexplained ‘A’ grades in school but sadly, it is also responsible for a fair number of run-away incidences! Many Nigerian house maids have been known to renounce and denounce witchcraft and return to the village on the merit of this combination of slaps! Playing football or soccer inside the house and breaking a fair number of Mom’s expensive chinaware is very ill-advised, especially when your Mom is schooled in the art of ‘Shaolin style’ combination slaps!